Positive thinking makes us unhappy?

Have you seen The Secret? The movie, which tells us about benefits of positive thinking.(  If you force your mind to ignore negative thoughts and focus only on positive ones, you will get so many rewards from the Universe, that you will stop feeling unhappy.  EVER! ) I was hooked – and oh man, you have to imagine how positive. Positively crazy – I could say.

“Happy! I’m Happy!, I’m Happy” – I was repeating, almost non-stop, and was trying to force all the negativity from my mind. But I did not succeed. I think I even had more negative thoughts, because of constantly pushing them out. You know the circle I’m trying not to think but thinking about it more? My mum (she is a natural genius. With IQ 150 or smth., I will tell you in the next post what it was to grow up with a mum like this.), after seeing this film, was not so crazily impressed as I was (no surprise here) She said, that a human mind is made from different emotions and ignoring one part will make matters only worse. The Balance is important (Duh, sounds reasonable – she is a doctor and a genius).

Basically while so called gurus live in a paradise all others still waiting when all the positivism will give them millions. Start lecturing, duh..

Later on I saw the documentary on BBC, about those who make money from lecturing about positive thinking, and those who believe in it and accumulate lots of unnecessary costs, because of the courses and seminars they are attending. Can’t find a link to the documentary, so If anyone saw it, please refer it to me. That made me think, that all “positive thinking” works positively only for those who are lecturing, not for those who are listening. Like a religion, no?

It failed

Today I read a great article explaining why positive thinking makes us even more in despair. Why?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/jun/15/happiness-is-being-a-loser-burkeman?newsfeed=true (It is long, I know – but I really recommend, if you are like me in doubt about positivism.)

He tells us about the consumerism graveyard in Michigan. It was started as a place, where every product should have been kept, but because of such high failure rates, it became a museum of failures. According to an author 90% of products fail, so such a rate shows that believing in positive thinking and in avoiding failures does not make sense.

“It’s almost certainly the only place on the planet where you’ll find Clairol’s A Touch of Yogurt shampoo alongside Gillette’s equally unpopular For Oily Hair Only, a few feet from a now-empty bottle of Pepsi AM Breakfast Cola (born 1989; died 1990). The museum is home to discontinued brands of caffeinated beer; to TV dinners branded with the logo of the toothpaste manufacturer Colgate; to self-heating soup cans that had a regrettable tendency to explode in customers’ faces; and to packets of breath mints that had to be withdrawn from sale because they looked like the tiny packages of crack cocaine dispensed by America’s street drug dealers”

“Most products fail.” According to some estimates, the failure rate is as high as 90%.”

This is hilarious fail. Isn’t it?

So if the products fail, people fail too. Would being an over optimistic will make you successful or just plain stupid?  I don’t think that it is possible to live the life without failures. No…Not for me at least or anyone I know. And If I will keep being over optimistic about my mistakes, that finally, when I would have no more energy to turn the blind eye on myself, …I’ll just explode. The author, of the article, and of the book ” The Antidote: Happiness For People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking” Oliver Burkeman(Really wanna read this one – and defo share what I learn with you, when I finally analyse my laziness and will get a job.) thinks that that’s what is waiting for positive thoughts followers.

As not to write for too long – one last thing from the article I overly enjoyed – it is how you see failures and how they affect you.

“The work of the Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck suggests that our experiences of failure are influenced overwhelmingly by the beliefs we hold about the nature of talent and ability – and that we can, perhaps quite straightforwardly, nudge ourselves towards a better outlook. Each of us can be placed somewhere on a continuum, Dweck argues, depending on our “implicit view” – or unspoken attitude – about what talent is and where it comes from. Those with a “fixed theory” assume that ability is innate; those with an “incremental theory” believe that it evolves through challenge and hard work. If you’re the kind of person who strives mightily to avoid the experience of failure, it’s likely that you reside near the “fixed” end of Dweck’s continuum. Fixed-theory people approach challenges as occasions on which they are called upon to demonstrate their innate abilities, and so they find failure especially horrifying: to them, it’s a sign that they tried to show how good they are, but didn’t measure up. The classic example is the young sports star encouraged to think of himself as a “natural” – but who then fails to put in sufficient practice to realise his potential. If talent is innate, his unspoken reasoning goes, then why bother?

Incremental-theory people are different. Because they think of abilities as emerging through tackling challenges, the experience of failure has a completely different meaning for them: it’s evidence that they are stretching themselves to their current limits. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t fail. The relevant analogy here is with weight training: muscles grow by being pushed to the limits of their current capacity, where fibres tear and reheal. Among weightlifters, “training to failure” isn’t an admission of defeat – it’s a strategy.”

Ha, so basically embracing yourselves, your failures and not running away from them as they would not exist – hmmm…, sounds more reasonable rather than just repeating mantra “I’m positive, I believe in myself etc”, or I’m being overly pessimistic? How do you think? Are you positivism fan or analytical thinking fan?

Information used – http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/jun/15/happiness-is-being-a-loser-burkeman?newsfeed=true, all images are linked with their homesite, if anyone offended – I’m sorry. I did not mean that.

Dreamy friday afternoon. Looking for the most fabulous house designs. first intake.

It is friday, it is summer, I don’t have to study, so supposedly I should feel very happy. I don’t because of the weather in London. It keeps raining, it is windy, and it looks so miserable that I don’t even considering going anywhere. Seems like some nice designs and bottle of red andJane Austin’s Emma (trying to get some classics in my head, they say it helps thinking and writing. For so far Emma seems so out of times and all the manners of Georgian times suffocates me. ) afterwards will make perfect staying in time, and weather will stop annoying me.

Now everything around looks like this :

 

Though from the picture it Does not look so exceptionally miserable, but anyway, I assure you it is, if for example we compare it with :

 

It is a view from an exceptional Bubble house from Cannes, in France. Bubble house, literally looks like one. It is very organic, so environmentalists should love it, and it is yet to be finished. It was built  in 70’s, bought by the designer Pierre Cardin and now it is listed as one of the France historical monuments. So adorable.

 

It was made to adapt the problematic landscape, and it does it really well. It somehow looks futuristic and not out of the place.

 

This original design has an exceptional space inside.

 

No wonder that Pierre Cardin bought it. It is a perfect hang out in a perfect place. Cannes. Oh, I will just close my eyes and imagine that I’m there sitting in the bubble house. Time for dreamy meditation folks! Found my inspiration 🙂

Like Edie

Do you get the feeling that we are living not in the right times often? Yeah, I used to get that one a lot as well.

Because at the moment I’m not dancing at the factory all high and cheerful and I’m not the SuperStar of underground movies.

 

Sometimes it would be like – why I’m not living in the eighties and not being able to attend first concerts of Depeche Mode, sometimes I keep myself on my toes for  being not lucky enough to live in the sixties. seeing Mad Men made me feel that even 50’s in New York was an era where I would have blossomed. Hahaha, when you just put every will you have in one shelf suddendly they al together become weird.

But hey, my main idea after reading Edie, American girl, ed. by Jean Stein, I’m kind of content that I’m here now and not living in New York during the sixties. Why? Because I’m not exactly sure I would have made through sixties, I barely make it now, and now I don’t have a choice to be high for weeks and weeks with a place to stay with artsy speed freaks. ( Here I have a factory in mind, Duh) If there would be a chance to be sixties bitch (superstar, speed freak. all of them in one person) I would probably take this challenge, but having in mind how much drugs people used I have no idea if  I still would be sane. I doubt.

In the party like this… Yeah doubtfully even an owl would make it fast.

So basically, I just wanted to tell you more about the book.  It is a great book, with more than 200 people talking about Edie, Factory, Sixties and Sedgwicks. There are a lot of talk about Sedgwicks, and as I don’t want to spoil a book for you I could say that it makes sense to paint Edie in the context of her family, because it explains a lot of her erratical behaviour. She was one exclusively charming human being, sensitive misunderstood and in the scene where even the most stable individual would be capable of loosing… His mind.

And she lost it. Fame, money, happiness did not help –  she lost her sanity.

That’s a little excerpt from the book to add some colour why… That is one of the weirdest things from sixties.

Edie, American Girl by Jean Stein,

Joel Shumacher:

There were other father figures in New York at that time – the acid doctors. A friend of mine – well, an ex-friend of mine – told me about this terrific doctor where you’d get these vitamin shots – Dr. Charles Roberts. I used to run into Edie there. I went one night, got this shot, and it was the most wonderful shot in the world. I had the answer: I mean, I mean it gives you that rush. There were vitamins in it, and a very strong lacing of methedrine. I’d never heard of methedrine or speed. They never told you what was in the shot anyway. It was a slow evolution. I went there first and got a shot. I went a wekk later and got another one. And maybe one week later I was feeling kind of down, and I went twice a week. Eventually I was going there every day, and then I was going two or three times a day. Then I went four times a day. Then I started shooting up myself.

Dr. Roberts was the perfect father image. His office, down on forty eighth street on the East Side, was very reputable looking, with attractive nurses, and he himself looked like a doctor in a movie. He was always telling me of his wondeful eperience with LSD, delivering babies, curing alkoholics… And he was going to open a health farm and spa where all this was going to go on… And naturally he was stoned all the time, too. He wasn’t a viper. I just think that he was so crazy, he truly thought he was going to help the world. He wasn’t out to kill anyone. We were the ones going in and getting shots. I mean anyone can set up a booth on the side of the road reading: I’m giving arsenic shots here, but you hae to stop there and take them. Over the years that he was riding high, tons of people went to see Dr. Roberts. But there was a little crowd of favourites. When you were a favourite, it meant that you were allowed a special privileges. even if the waiting room was filled with twenty peple you got right in. when you were addicted, being able to get right in was very important. You got bigger shots; you got shot up more than anyone else, and you became more of an addict. It was woderful to be part of this special group. Edie fit right in. The minute she hit there, she became a special Dr. Roberts person.

I’ll give you a description of what it was like to go to Dr. Roberts. The time is two thirty in the afternoon. I’m going back to my second shot of the day. I open the door. There are twenty-five people in the waiting room: businessmen, beautiful teenagers on the floor with long hair playing guitars, pregnant women with babies in their arms, designers, actors, models, record people, freaks, non-freaks… waiting. Everyone is waiting for a shot, so the tension in the office is beyond belief.

Lucky you, being a special Dr. Roberts person who can whip right in without waiting. Naturally, there’s a terribly resentful, tense moment as you rush by, because you are going to get your shot.

You attack one of the nurses. By tha I mean you grab her and say, Listen, Susan! Give me a shot You’re in a corridor with your pants half off, ready to get a shot in your rear. Meanwhile Dr. Roberts comes floating by. Dr. Roberts has had a few shots already, right? So in the middle of the corridor he decides to tell you his complete plan to rejuvenate the entire earth. It’s a thirteen- part plan but he has lots of time to tell it to you, and as the shot starts to work – Susan having given it to you – you hae a lot of time to listen.

In Dr. Robert’s room would be Edie…So thin that she cannot be given her shot standing up; she has to lie down on her stomach. It was a big shot – all those vitamins, niacin, methedrine. God knows what else – for a lttle girl, so she had to take it lying down.

Meanwhile everyone who’s back in the corridor for the second or third time that day complains that the shots they received that morning haven’t worked. Out in the waiting room you can hear people complaining that they haven’t even received their first shot yet.

And Dr. Roberts is still going on. In the middle of his thirteen-part plan he decides to tell you about a movie he saw on television. …In detail. You, however, are telling him your ideas for whatever you’re going to do. Dr. Roberts begins to describe his idea for a plastic Kabuki house. Someone else is showing his sketches for redesigning the Boeing 707 with a psychedelic interior. Big doings at Dr. Roberts’ all the time.

Now you decide to go back through the waiting room, right? Now you have all the time in the world. Life is a breeze. You’ve used a sun lamp. I mean you were in a great rush then you came in; now, finally, you decide you’ll leave.

But there in the room are all these people who are not Dr. Roberts special people and who still haven’t been serviced. They’re there to spend as much money as you have but they’re not part of  the “in” crowd. So they are drifting off into craziness because they haven’t gotten their shots. A couple of people are wondering around . . . their poor systems are so riddled with methedrine they got half an hourago they feel is not working that they’ve come back for what Dr. Roberts calls “the booster”. The basic Dr. Roberts shot goes from ten dollars to fifteen dollars. As your resistance to the drug gets to the point of diminishing you move on up. Ther is a big shot for twenty five dollars, and if it doesn’t work, you go right back and get “the booster” for five dollars. That’s what some of these poor people were doing, standing out there and waiting for a booster. But you…You are flying high, having just had your twenty five dollars special, and you walk out into the outer office and say: oh Hi, What a beautiful sweater! Gee, you look wonderful! How are you? Oh hi! Isn’t it wonderful to see you! What’s happening?”

Before leaving I’d often go and find Edie in Dr. Roberts sauna. If we’d been up all night on drugs, the sauna and steam bath were woderful things. We’d go out and walk for blocks and blocks . . . Just be together, because we didn’t know what we were saying half the time.

The speed thing was so wonderful because everyone was walking around scared to death . . . scared because they couldn’t sustain the pace. And so these shots from Dr. Roberts and all those other speed doctors gave you a false sense of being together. You could face everybody when you went out at night. You could dance all night. It was like “the answer”. Nobody knew much about speed these days.

(Long excerpt from Edie: American girl, ed by Jean Stein, hey but great one anyway. No? That what I mean that sixties were too wild. I don’t know if I would say no to shots like that. As far as I know myself, I would be probably the first to go to Dr. Roberts.

I think someone has to make a movie about speed doctors in sixties. It is a fascinating subject.)

OK as for first post – way too long and that means that it is way too late and I’m off.

Next post will be shorter – perhaps, haha because now I’m reading Jane Austin Emma – so what could born from that one so far I really dont know. Less drugs and more behaviour I guess…

 

 

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